I gave up on Love
Maggi Carstairs 2007


I gave up on Love when I was set free
To live alone and be mine.
I struggled to find
A home and a life
And what I found was just me.
I found I could live, if I trusted myself.
And Believed God would always care.
Somehow he provided work with a home,
And whatever else that was there.
I travelled, bought clothing,
Wore diamonds and Gold,
Went where I wanted
and always alone,
I found a controlled peace
That came at a price,
(Being alone always is not always nice).

Its strange, but the sadness came as I got older
When younger, I was prettier and much more bolder.

I hate having to buy my own drinks,
And carry my luggage
And take taxis home
Where sleepless I sit on the allnight computer
Writing and working, and then reading books.

Sometimes ,
When the moon lingers far too long,
And the spring blossoms cover the air,
I sadly remember the price I have paid
For self sufficiency, when love was there.
And wonder if ever the time will come
When I will want, need, or yearn for a touch.

The past is a memory, the futures a song
I gave up on love when the timing was wrong.

Maggi Carstairs 2007